According to those on the internet, it’s actually incredibly chic to pull off a museum heist. That's been the general consensus in reaction to the news that last Sunday, at around 9:30 a.m. CEST, some thieves broke into the Louvre Museum through a window, smashed a few display cases open, and made it out with about $102 million worth of precious jewelry. While many mainstream news outlets have framed last week’s fascinating heist as a “national disaster,” people on the internet are taking it way less seriously. In fact, the whole ordeal's being glamorized. In the past week, Heist-themed playlists have been curated, “POV: on the way to the Louvre” videos have amassed, and there are some lovely “Parisian heist nights” mood boards popping up. This act of pure greed is actually giving back—by filling The Bling Ring-sized hole in people’s hearts.
Heist-FOMO online is also at an all-time high. I take it from the sea of “why wasn’t I invited” comments that there's a widely shared desire to take part in nonviolent crimes and cartoonish adventures. And though this grand larceny's aftermath is no doubt weighing on the Louvre’s leadership and security staff, and, obviously committing a heist is very, very illegal, at its core, the situation is so surreal that it begs to be romanticized (and lightly mocked).
In under ten minutes, an organized crew of scoundrels managed to rob one of the world’s most famous museums during opening hours, and escape with millions of dollars' worth of (somehow uninsured?) jewels. The facts of the matter read like an Ocean’s movie synopsis. (The thieves even wore construction worker disguises—they had a plan and a flair for drama!) The whole situation seems so scripted that many online have theorized that it’s just an elaborate marketing stunt to promote the upcoming Now You See Me: Now You Don't release—which I won't rule out quite yet.
Now, is it 100 percent morally sound to “stan” a robbery? Probably not. It's not like the crime has no victims. (I doubt the Louvre’s director—who literally offered to resign this week—will be streaming the Lorde-inspired “Seven-Minute Louvre Heist” Spotify playlist anytime soon.)
Still, a seven-minute heist that immediately takes over the news cycle is prime joke material. Because there’s nothing people on the internet love more than using a major event to chase a viral moment. Relative to all the hate and bigotry-fueled crimes that dominate headlines today, this offense seems harmless to make light of. I'd also like to zoom out and acknowledge that the vast majority of people commenting on this scandal will never own $102 million worth of anything, let alone jewels dating back to the 17th century. So it’s no relatable loss.
It’s been harder for me to find any remorse to feel about the matter after learning that many of the stolen gems were originally mined by European colonizers in regions they exploited, like South Africa and India. So! While the authorities hunt down who nabbed those jewels (again), you can find the rest of us impressed by the heist's execution—and the sheer audacity of it all. I take no issue with those living vicariously through the ragtag group of friends (or maybe just colleagues—no confirmation available on how tight these robbers are with each other) who pulled off an old-fashioned breakfast-time hijink. Their brazen stunt might earn them some serious prison time, but it'll also probably get the Oscar-worthy movie treatment in a few years. Because if the outrageous reaction to all this is any indication, there's a real hunger for heist content that deserves to be fed.
